Signs That a Child Feels Suicidal
How Bullying Can Lead to Suicide and How To Spot The Signs
When children are bullied they can sometimes get depressed and suicidal. It is hard to think of a child as being suicidal but here are some signs to look out for.
Wendy Koch's article for the USA Today Website, "Study: Bullies and Bullied More Likely to be Hit by Crime" (16th October 2007), reported the findings of Melissa Holt. Holt is a research professor at the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center and co-author of a study on bullying. In Holt's study, around half of all bullied children in the groups she studied ended up being referred to school counselors for having suicidal thoughts.
If you are worried that your child may be suicidal then what should you look out for?
Signs Your Child May Be Suicidal
Suicide.Org Website warns that some of the following may be signs that someone is having suicidal feelings:
- Appearing depressed or sad most of the time.
- Expressing hopelessness.
- Withdrawing from family and friends.
- Sleeping too much or too little.
- Feeling tired most of the time.
- Gaining or losing a significant amount of weight.
- Making statements such as these: "I hate this life." , "There's no point to this stupid life.", "Everyone would be better off without me.", "Nothing matters anymore.","I don't care about anything anymore.", "I want to die."
- Writing notes or poems about suicide or death.
- Acting compulsively.
- Losing interest in most activities.
- Giving away prized possessions.
- Writing a will.
- No sense of humor.
- Facing a perceived "humiliating" situation.
- Facing a perceived "failure."
- Feeling excessive guilt or shame.
- Acting irrationally.
- Behaving recklessly.
- Frequently complaining about headaches, stomachaches, etc.
- A dramatic change in personal appearance.
- A dramatic change in personality.
- Performing poorly at work or in school.
- Abusing alcohol or drugs.
Is My Child Suicidal?
First of all don't panic. Many teenagers and pre-teens will display some of these symptoms at some time as a normal part of growing up but if your child is displaying several of the above then you should heighten your awareness that he or she may be feeling suicidal.
Thankfully most children who are bullied will enter adulthood unharmed, however some children have taken their own lives because of bullying. One of the most important things to do if you know or suspect that your child is being bullied is to let your child know that you are there and keep the lines of communication open.
What Do I Do If I Think My Child Is Suicidal?
This is not something that you can handle alone. You need to get help. Contact your doctor or a suicide helpline either with your child or on your own. The doctor or hotline will be able to advise and support you. Try to also find a friend or relative to talk to. With the right help and support your child can get through this, but there will be times where you need support too and someone outside of the immediate situation may be best. Don't go through this alone.
What Do I Do If My Child Tells Me He Wants To Commit Suicide?
If your child tells you that he or she wants to commit suicide you should seek urgent medical attention. You will need to get your child to talk to a doctor and the doctor may or may not recommend hospitalisation depending upon the situation. These are some things which you can do:
- Don't act shocked
- Take all of your child's comments, feelings and threats seriously
- Stay calm
- Listen attentively and supportively
- Offer positive words of support
- If the child is at high risk of suicide do not leave your child alone
- Talk openly about suicide – don't avoid the topic out of embarrassment or fear
Further Support
A lot of the above information is discussed on the Suicide.Org Website which is an excellent source of information and advice on suicide.
For someone to talk to, UK residents can get support from organisations such as the Samaritans who have a website and whose number can be found in the Yellow Pages.
Residents of the United States can get support from organisations such as AWARE which was set up specifically to offer help and support to teenagers.
There are also many excellent books which can offer support such as Barbara Coloroso's The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander: From Preschool to Secondary School - How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence (published 2005 by Piccadily Press) which gives advice for the parents and teachers of children and teenagers of all ages.
